Category: Dating Violence

What is a Green Dot?

“Green Dot, etc.” is a five year strategy designed to engage ALL community members in the effort to decrease violence. It uses awareness, education and skill-practice to encourage proactive behaviors that establish intolerance of norms that support violence. The goal is for individuals and groups to engage in a basic education program that will equip them to integrate moments of prevention and intervention within their existing relationships and daily activities. It reinforces the community members that they CAN make a difference. Perhaps more importantly, it engages them actively in norm changing behavior that ultimately will lay the groundwork for a culture within our community that does not tolerate violence. The “Green Dot, etc.” does not require that a group or individual has any understanding of domestic, sexual or dating violence. It does not require a particular perspective or a point of view. It allows us to meet people where they are and engage every member of our community in the work to end violence.
So, what is a green dot? A green dot is an individual action, activity or statement that communicates to someone else that violence is not okay. Often a green dot happens when someone sees something that indicates that violence is possible, is imminent or has already happened. It might be a dangerous situation, something you know is wrong or something that just makes you uncomfortable. A green dot can be as simple as a check in: “Are you okay?” or “Do you need some help?” A green dot can also happen without the presence of violence. You can just tell a friend a cool story of when someone kept someone else safe or put a poster in the window at your workplace or business, or wear a green dot pin. The idea is that small changes add up to cultural change. We all just need to say or do something that lets others know that violence is not okay with us and we are willing to do our part to stop it.
Seems so simple! Unfortunately, sometimes obstacles get in the way of us doing our green dots. We might be shy, worried about what others will say, think it’s none of our business, don’t want to get involved, afraid of retaliation or just don’t know what to do. “Green Dot, etc.” teaches us to be aware of our obstacles and to come up with new and creative ways to initiate a green dot that feels comfortable given those obstacles. It doesn’t matter what you do. It just matters that you do something! Enough green dots and we WILL change the culture that supports violence in our community.
The “Green Dot, etc.” does not ask you to change who you are or what you believe. We have just recently begun implementation of a five year “Green Dot, etc.” strategy locally. We can come to your organization, place of business, agency, community group or church and give a green dot presentation. It is free and we can customize the presentation to the types of issues your particular group sees or hears about. If you would like us to give a presentation to your group, give Marcy a call at 541-592-5332. We can do a very brief presentation (5-15 minutes) to a large group and/or or a more extended and interactive presentation to those who are interested in the brief overview. The presentation provides a framework to engage the broader community and creates a common language. We are very excited about the program and we believe that this strategy could make a REAL difference in our community. Follow us on twitter @ivgreendot.
P.S. Calling and asking about a presentation is a green dot!

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

What is Teen Dating Violence?

Teen dating violence is a pattern of physically,  sexually, verbally and/ or emotionally abusive behavior in a dating relationship.

Physical Abuse

Any intentional, unwanted contact with the other person’s body. Physical abuse does not have to leave a bruise or a mark.


  • Scratching
  • Shoving
  • Pinching
  • Pulling Hair
  • Kicking
  • Biting
  • Burning
  • Strangling
  • Using a weapon

Sexual Abuse

Any sexual behavior that is unwanted or interferes with the other person’s right to say “no” to sexual advances


  • Unwanted kissing or touching
  • Date Rape
  • Forcing someone to go further sexually than he or she wants to
  • Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity
  • Not letting someone use birth control or protection from sexually transmitted diseases

Verbal / Emotional Abuse

Saying or doing something to another person that causes that person to be afraid, have lower self esteem, or manipulates or controls the person’s feelings or behavior.


  • Name-calling or put-downs
  • Insulting the person or his or her family or friends
  • Yelling or screaming
  • Threatening violence or harm
  • Making racial slurs about the person
  • Making unwanted comments of a sexual nature to the person
  • Embarrassing the person in front of others
  • Spreading negative rumors about the person
  • Preventing the person from seeing or talking to friends or family
  • Telling the person what to do
  • Making the person feel responsible for the violence / abuse
  • Stalking
  • Harming or threatening to harm the person’s pets
  • Making the person feel guilty about leaving the relationship by talking about the abusers hard life and how hurt and abandoned he’d feel
  • Threatening to commit suicide
  • Threatening to expose personal information about the person (sexual orientation, immigration status)
  • Threatening to take the persons child or children

If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these things, there is help available. Please call an advocate at the Illinois Valley Safe House Alliance or your nearest Women’s Center. 541-592-2515