Abusive partners use many different types of abuse to gain and maintain control over their victim. Emotional abuse may escalate to physical abuse when the batterer feels that their control is lessening. Regardless whether it is emotional, financial or physical, abuse escalates in intensity over time. Physical abuse can range from “playful” pinching, to murder. The following are other types of physical abuse that have been told to us by survivors who we have worked with.

  • slapping you to “calm you down” when you are voicing your anger at being mistreated
  • “playfully”pinching you and when you say it hurt, called you a big baby
  • shoving you when he doesn’t want to hear what you have to say
  • punching you in the stomach
  • strangling you (not choking; choking is something you do on food)
  • slamming his fist into the wall beside your head
  • holding your face down in the dirt by your hair
  • pulling you down the hallway and shoving your face into the mirror saying “look at  yourself, you piece of sh–“
  • restraining you so you can’t leave the room
  • throwing dinner on the floor and then making you clean it up
  • breaking your possessions
  • holding a knife to your throat until you agree that his behavior is your fault
  • keeping you awake most of the night so you are too tired to go to work or take care of the kids the next morning
  • not letting you buy food for the house for weeks because you “need to lose weight” (and not letting you leave to get food)
  • withholding medication to “punish” you for “talking back” (sticking up for your rights as a human)
  • locking you out of the house
  • locking you in the house and systematically abusing you for days at a time
  • getting you addicted to drugs

If you, or anyone you know has had any of these things happen to them, remember that no person chooses to be abused and no matter what someone has done, the consequences should never be abusive behavior towards them. If you would like to talk to someone who understands and may be able to help, call the Illinois Valley Safe House Alliance at 541.592.2515 and talk to an advocate. Our services are always free and completely confidential.