Category: Domestic Violence (page 1 of 2)

Am I Experiencing Abuse?

Inside each toolkit provided by the Domestic Shelters organization are links to articles, recommended books, danger assessment tools, checklists, survivor survey results, support communities and more. Come back to www.ivsha.org each week to utilize these amazing tool-kits.

We hope you’ll agree the tool-kits neatly bring together most of what a survivor needs when it comes to finding the answers they’re looking for. There is so much information in the world on domestic violence … the tool-kits do the research for people and assemble it in one place.

Click the link bellow for more information.

https://www.domesticshelters.org/media/

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I Remember

I Remember…
I remember, as a child,
Hiding in the dark closet with my sisters and brothers,
Unable to block out the sounds of my father beating my mother.
We would cry and pray together, asking God to make it stop.
It never did…..
It never did…..
Now, 28 years later, when I talk about it,
I still feel that helplessness and fear.
I see the house, the closet.
I feel huddled up with six kids in the closet… Crying quietly. My Mom screams… My father yells…
The crashing sounds…
Deep terror… Feeling it was our fault somehow.
We all paid for it in our adult lives. Not one of us escaped.
We paid for it with drugs and alcohol and violent relationships, reliving and acting in our own ways
the script we grew up with.
That was just from listening to it
just from listening to it.
The effect it had on our lives.

What is sad
is that I didn’t realize until the end of my last abusive relationship
That my kids were suffering
as I did as a child

-Anonymous poem found online

What is a Green Dot?

“Green Dot, etc.” is a five year strategy designed to engage ALL community members in the effort to decrease violence. It uses awareness, education and skill-practice to encourage proactive behaviors that establish intolerance of norms that support violence. The goal is for individuals and groups to engage in a basic education program that will equip them to integrate moments of prevention and intervention within their existing relationships and daily activities. It reinforces the community members that they CAN make a difference. Perhaps more importantly, it engages them actively in norm changing behavior that ultimately will lay the groundwork for a culture within our community that does not tolerate violence. The “Green Dot, etc.” does not require that a group or individual has any understanding of domestic, sexual or dating violence. It does not require a particular perspective or a point of view. It allows us to meet people where they are and engage every member of our community in the work to end violence.
So, what is a green dot? A green dot is an individual action, activity or statement that communicates to someone else that violence is not okay. Often a green dot happens when someone sees something that indicates that violence is possible, is imminent or has already happened. It might be a dangerous situation, something you know is wrong or something that just makes you uncomfortable. A green dot can be as simple as a check in: “Are you okay?” or “Do you need some help?” A green dot can also happen without the presence of violence. You can just tell a friend a cool story of when someone kept someone else safe or put a poster in the window at your workplace or business, or wear a green dot pin. The idea is that small changes add up to cultural change. We all just need to say or do something that lets others know that violence is not okay with us and we are willing to do our part to stop it.
Seems so simple! Unfortunately, sometimes obstacles get in the way of us doing our green dots. We might be shy, worried about what others will say, think it’s none of our business, don’t want to get involved, afraid of retaliation or just don’t know what to do. “Green Dot, etc.” teaches us to be aware of our obstacles and to come up with new and creative ways to initiate a green dot that feels comfortable given those obstacles. It doesn’t matter what you do. It just matters that you do something! Enough green dots and we WILL change the culture that supports violence in our community.
The “Green Dot, etc.” does not ask you to change who you are or what you believe. We have just recently begun implementation of a five year “Green Dot, etc.” strategy locally. We can come to your organization, place of business, agency, community group or church and give a green dot presentation. It is free and we can customize the presentation to the types of issues your particular group sees or hears about. If you would like us to give a presentation to your group, give Marcy a call at 541-592-5332. We can do a very brief presentation (5-15 minutes) to a large group and/or or a more extended and interactive presentation to those who are interested in the brief overview. The presentation provides a framework to engage the broader community and creates a common language. We are very excited about the program and we believe that this strategy could make a REAL difference in our community. Follow us on twitter @ivgreendot.
P.S. Calling and asking about a presentation is a green dot!

One Survivor’s Story

I had been hesitant for four years to tell anyone I was in an abusive relationship. He verbally, mentally, emotionally and financially abused me. The moment he threatened to take my kid away from me was the moment I knew I had to take action. I never knew there were services in town that helped with situations like mine. I had felt trapped and when I had heard about it through a friend who had used the Alliance before, I decided to go down there to see what they could do for me.
The Illinois Valley Safe House Alliance helped me get back on my feet to being me again. They were there to just listen, helped refer me to places to get custody and make sure my child was safe with me. They helped me create a safety plan so that my child and I would have a way to get out if we needed to. The advocate helped me learn about resources for financial support like TANF, food stamps and local places who help with different kinds of assistance I may need.
When you have no one to turn to and people are judging you, it makes it very hard to go somewhere and ask for help. If the Alliance had not been local I would not have gotten the help I needed. I would have never gone to Grants Pass for help.
-Anonymous

It’s Not Just a Woman’s Issue

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